medium | The Constant Pursuit of Ghosts

Q: Are you glad that you can perceive and communicate with the dead? I don’t know if you can (or are comfortable) answering this question, but would you give the ability back, if you had the choice?

A: I am glad, now.

When it first started in 2003, I was so arrogant about my experiences. I was better than everyone. I saw the real world, the way things actually were. Things became entirely new- time, sleep, nature, the early morning, the deepest night. Everything. Part of me misses that time, though, where it all felt so pure and powerful and I felt so deeply connected to the Universe. But boy, was I insufferable. Everyone hates the self-important spiritualist.

By 2010, I was deep in regret. My life was destroyed, I was mentally emotionally and spiritually shattered, my marriage was in ruins, and my (ex)husband had been used like a puppet for so many years he was essentially not a person anymore, so my son had parents who were really barely functional. I was so ill in 2011 and 2012 that I don’t think I’d recognize that girl if I met her now. It was the darkest, most frightening, most difficult time in my life, and almost no one knows it even happened.

Right now, my interaction with the dead is very narrowed. I’m careful about how much I will filter in, who I will talk to, and how much of That Side I will let enter my mind and heart. I wouldn’t want to go back because now I have the heard-earned “luxury” of knowing what happens when we die, how deeply I am protected and loved, and what sorts of storms I am able to survive. I have a deep peace about death, about eternity, even about what might happen next. I am never alone, and I am always going to be safe. Without what I’ve been through, I could never know that with the level of certainty I have right now. Nothing will ever be as scary or dangerous as that time in my life, and it’s what gets me through the hard times now.

Q: Do you consider yourself a medium? Are you able to like, give readings to people, tell them about their people that have crossed over?

A: I mean, I guess I would be considered a medium in the sense that I am a person who is in constant communication with the dead, and I do give people my thoughts and advice about ghosts and the other side, but I do not do readings, because there isn’t a reason for it.

Here’s what you need to know about people you love who have crossed:

They are the person you loved but also, they are everyone they used to be as well. They love you very much, but their priorities have changed. Their ‘lives’ go on, just as yours should. It’s also highly likely they’ve already come back to Earth as someone else, so they might not even be around anymore.

If not- they’re okay, okay? They’re safe. They’re Home. Whatever pain and regret and sadness you feel about however you left things with them, it’s okay. They forgive you. They’re not worried about it. Nothing of this world has any significance to them anymore. Please go on with your life. The greatest honor and gift you could give them is to live a happy, fulfilling, contented life of gratitude and love.

You have someone (probably more than one, really) who watches over you, who is your guardian. I encourage you to find that person. To learn to meditate and embrace the protection you’ve been given. That’s your person.

This life is so short, tiny seconds in the infinity of time. What feels so important now is so meaningless over there. That’s the great joke of humanity. All the things that keep us awake at night are things that won’t even matter when we’re finally truly at rest.