Q: If I can’t feel my deceased loved ones around me, does that mean that they have moved on to the beyond or are they keeping their distance because they know I’m afraid of spirits?
A: What I have experienced in my life is a mix of ghosts that are Here, and the actual dead, which are Over There. Ghosts are people who don’t want to go Home, mostly because they’re so fucking angry about how they died they refuse to let go of it. Or they’re children and they don’t understand that they’re dead. The longer you stay in this harsh darkness, the harder it is for you to ever go Home. If there is a Hell, it’s being trapped between worlds.
One of the “jobs” on the other side is trying to convince ghosts to go Home, by the way.
If your loved one embraced their death and goes Home, they become not just the person you loved but all of the selves they’ve ever been.
Being alive is like being an onion with its skin still firmly sealed shut, and dying is becoming one peeled open like a lotus blossom. Alive, you’re one person only, with hints and glimpses of people you’ve been before (”I can’t believe I did that, it’s so out of my character.” “I have always been afraid of the ocean and I don’t know why.”). When you’re dead, you’re everyone you’ve ever been.
There are those that immediately come back here to try again. Some people lose touch with the earthly world and become enmeshed in their Welcome Home party. Also, time is different there. What is years and years to us could feel to them like a day. There’s a lot to see and remember and there are a lot of people who are so happy to see you again. It’s a big soft bed with clean, cool sheets after the longest, worst day ever.
I do believe that when you’re in trouble, when you are in danger, when you are afraid, the people you love are watching out for you. They just might not be the people you remember right now.